My Wife Doesn't Appreciate House-keeping Allowance Of ₦50,000 And She Also Has A Good Paying Job

6 months ago4650 views

Good morning Gisters. I had to post on this platform so I can be anonymous. I got married since 2019, and by the grace of God, my family is been blessed with a handsome baby boy, who's about 1-and-half years now, I also live with my wife's nephew, a boy of 9 years now. For the past 2 years I haven't enjoyed the marriage, even though I do my best to make it work. I give my wife ₦50k every month for food items only. Light bill, loma bill, security bill, filling of our 6 kg cylinder is not included in that ₦50k, I take care of all those ones whenever it's due to pay for them. I also buy bags of rice once it finished, it's also not included in the ₦50k The issue here is that before 18th of every month she will start demanding for extra money, I pleaded with her to manage it because I just started business last year January 2021, and the business have not gain a strong stand, and I take out ₦50k there to feed the family monthly. She also working - a good work for that matter, and I give her 1k everyday for transport. This morning been Sunday 20th March, she demanded for another money, then I asked her what happened to the 50k I gave her on the 1st of this month, she started saying a whole lot of rubbish with her mouth, that I should go to the market myself and see how costly things are. That any time I transfer that 50k to her account, that she will transfer it back to my account. I called her “my sweet wife, why can't you be appreciative to God that your husband gives you 50k every month? That there are other women out there suffering for what she and the children will eat, hawking under the hot sun everyday”. Sorry for the long epistle. Please advise me, In which area have I offended my wife, which made her to treat my little earning that way? Today I am a high-blood-pressure patient. Taking drugs every morning and night. Please advice me, what will I do again to keep my family going.

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Replies(12)

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 18 days ago

This is a clear situation of an angry black woman. Clam her down. Buy her flowers and explain to her that you both need to start saving for retirement children college funds


My Wife Doesn't Appreciate House-keeping Allowance Of ₦50,000 And She Also Has A Good Paying Job

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

Na you marry beauty without brain nor wisdom for home management.. A woman that can't manage what her husband gives to her is a liability.. The only solution is if she can't manage what you give to her ,she must never disturb your peace at home.


Tell her you will reduce what you are giving her for upkeep if she refuses to utilize it well.. Don't give her anything until your targeted time for the expense expire. Be disciplined and stop worrying your mind over such a naughty issue .

FamilyLast activity 18 days ago

Start handling the upkeep yourself. Don't give her a dime again.


Maybe she has friends she's trying to compete with or brag to about how much her mumu gives her for upkeep.


Maybe she's also saving part of it.


If truly the money is only for upkeep, then she is not prudent. Stop giving her altogether.

FamilyLast activity 18 days ago

The first question I would like to ask before I answer is, is 50k enough for your monthly family upkeep?


Are you conscious of the rate of inflation since you started giving that 50k? First understand your wife (within reason) before trying to get her to understand you.


Get Her to draw up a budget then you guys should prioritize it.


Meanwhile, how is your sex life ? A lot of marital problems are either aggravated or calmed down depending on your level of sexual intimacy or other Iove languages. You need to know, then learn to speak Her love language.


Best wishes.

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 18 days ago

Did you marry your wife or did she marry you? This question is very important because based on the answer you'll be able to get appropriate advice. If she's the one that married you, basically she did your ugly babboon looking ass a favor and she's out of your league then my broda step up your game or she'll leave your ass.


Now if you're a real nigga and you married her then for freaking sake MAN UP! Even if you no get shin shin, she has no right to disrespect you but that's not even the case here. You dey drop ₦50k, dey buy food items, dey pay for utilities and extras and she still carry fire head? Make I no talk say thunder fire her left yansh .


Guy listen well and listen well well, you are already exhibiting signs of serious health conditions, no woman no matter how much you love her is worth dying over. I repeat NO WOMAN!


First thing is first, take back control of your home by sitting her down and laying down your grievances, if she refuses to yield, tell those grievances to her parents or family members, if that also fails, find someone she respects and let it be known to him or her.


Finally, if all else fails, create space. Leave on a trip of one month or more, NO DROP SHIN SHIN, I repeat NO DROP SHIN SHIN. What you'll realize is that she'll do one of two things when you return, she'll either have a brain reset and appreciate what you have been given her or she'll leave.


Either way the problem goes away. For a woman that appreciates the days of ₦50k will surely appreciate the days of 200k and one that does not appreciate the days of ₦50k, will surely leave your ass sooner or later........PEACE!

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

It is just I and my sister living together, she has to go to market once every month and she spends an average of 40k/month.


Along the line foodstuff may finish, she may not buy everything we need, so, I supplement by buying every other food or grocery item. Total, the both of us could spend about 70k in a month on feeding.


Your wife has a job and she cannot add to the 50k? Rather she still collects 1k transport. So, what does she use her salary for? To feed the rest of her family that is not living with you guys?


Una dey really marry characters sha, I'm always amazed.

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

My former boss once told me never to carry a woman who doesn't earn her own money into the house. Even if you give her a billion per month, such lady will never appreciate the value of that amount as she doesn't work for money.


Let the man get another job for his wife on the Island, let her be doing 4 hours traffic movement to and from work every day. At the end of the month, she gets paid like 70k.

If she does that job for 2 months, when next you give her 30k, she will be looking at you like Obi Cubana.

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

How much snacks can the children possibly eat in a week? Abi na pitzer she dey buy everyday? Then it doesn't make sense because she should know her husband's financial capability before living on such high standards.


If na buscuits and normal children drinks, highest she can't spend up to 5k a if she buys it in bulk and makes sure they only take one a day to school. Food is there so they can't be snacking all the time.


It's easier to lavish money when you're not the one bringing it. If she's the one bringing it, she'll learn how to manage and teach her children to be content with whatever she gives them.

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

See.. the African family module is obviously not working at all for this man considering the level of stress he is having to deal with. Sometimes it is okay to allow a marriage be a joint partnership where both man and woman become financially responsible. And if this happens, a real man will make sure a lot is invested, retirement are saved up, kid's college funds are secured.


Married folks are supposed to have a major leg up over single folks mainly because there are two heads in that equation. But when folks turn it instead into a Master-slave type relationship, they loose out on that would be major benefit.


A woman that is working is demanding for money after 50k. This is the reason why many men die early in Nigeria.


This is hmmable and imagine how many men would just go and marry their enemy as wife.


The snag here is that you guys didn't discuss about money in this marriage before you went ahead to consummate it.


Take it or leave it your wife is not helping at all.

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

Dear poster,


This is an easy problem to resolve. I am sharing this with you as someone who also supports the wife monthly.


You have given her 50k for the past two years? From your perspective are prices still same across Nigeria in the last two years? Inflation is on the high side and you need to consider her request more compassionately.


Here is what you can do. Both of you should seat and plan how to increase your family income. Either she starts a business or you check for a new job. You need to respond to her more compassionately showing that you understand that things are on the high side.


Responding without compassion would make her feel you think she is spending your money on something else or stealing from you.


God has special favour on the marriage union when the couples are united. So you should both agree and pray on how to increase your income. This can be resolved easily.


God bless your home.

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

Hhmm.. family issues. OK, let's get practical. You said the money is for the food y'all eat and nothing else, right? At the core of the issue here is the fact that you believe she's using it for her personal stuff. Since she dared you to go the market and ask the prices of food stuff, could you actually do that? I mean, she said that cause she knew or thought you wouldn't do it, why not shock her by going to market to get the actual prices of food items? This way, you'd know for sure she's cheating and she'd also know she can't easily play you like that next time. If you don't know much about food stuff, ask a friend to help you.


The goal here is to make data driven decisions. It's not enough to say your wife doesn't appreciate the money you give to her. The money is for the family, not for her. N50K is big and we're likely going conclude she's keeping some of it to herself. But what we don't know for sure is your living standard. We don't know what you expect to see on the table when you get home, the kind of drinks you take, etc. That's why you alone can tell if she's actually cheating or not. Do a little market survey and watch her jaw drop if she's guilty.


Good luck!

Anonymous

6 months ago

FamilyLast activity 6 months ago

Husband and wife no be master and slave relationship. The man ought to sit together with his wife at the table, with paper and pencil in hand to plot out exactly how much it costs to feed the family regularly, and this should take place every month so they are in sync. Apart from feeding, the man should make certain his wife is aware of how much he pays each month for light bill, gas etc. 


Also, he claims his wife works as well but how much did they both agree would be her contribution as far as upkeep of what is after all her own family?

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