My Brother's Wife Sends Him On Errands. Is This Normal Or Right?

3 days ago779 views

This situation is so embarrassing to say. I would never advise a man to be so sluggish in life. It pains my heart to experience this several times, but since he is an elderly brother who senior me very far, I can't put my mouth in his family affair because of this. I went to visit my brother yesterday and was surprised while we were seated in the parlor... the wife told her husband to check if the woman selling provision was back. This wasn't the first time my brother stood up and went.. I was looking at her the whole time. She was looking at me. The anger was so deep, but there was nothing I could do. They are different instances I can give, but no need for that... I want to say it's not good to be that calm type of guy. This is not about being the breadwinner of the house. My elder brother is doing very well for himself so is his wife. As a man, it's just not suitable to always be quiet or quiet all the time.. gentlemanly. I don't know how to say it. Guys, what do you think?

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Replies(11)

Anonymous

3 days ago

FamilyLast activity 2 days ago

Are you suspecting she already jazzed him? If yes is your answer, then there is a solution. Only a particular bark of a tree you will find dry it then ground it then drop the powder form in your brother food or drink. Bro, within a minute, he will sweat as he has been inside the oven. He would vomit all the nonsense if even the woman went inside the sea to do the jazz. Bro, the thing goes clear, but he might get angry and kill her because his hatred for her will be like a burning furnace. The stronger the jazz she used on him, the stronger the hate for her would be.


Please speak to the elders. They know the tree bark. Or reply to this post if you need help with locating this special tree. Good day.

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Anonymous

3 days ago

Nothing wey person no go read on top internet. Abeg share the info on this tree.

FamilyLast activity 2 days ago

This is so touching. How come you people neglected him to that extent? I felt for him. Many men are in bondage of their wives I swear.

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Anonymous

3 days ago

My sister, you will not understand. We tried to discourage him, but his mind was made up. He is in love with a manipulative woman and wants to prove how enlightened and genuine he is as a man.


As for the financial assistance of a thing, I can not bring myself to help a man who intentionally and purposefully resigned from a job earning 250k a month to become a househusband. He does this to prove his love and manhood to a manipulative wife even though she makes higher than him.

Anonymous

3 days ago

FamilyLast activity 3 days ago

I pray your daughters don't marry a man they can't tell to buy bread on his way home.


Times have changed. Gone are the days when women do the entire domestic work without help from their husbands. Secondly, oga OP, when you marry your wife, feel free to kick her out if she seeks your assistance with house chores but learn to respect boundaries and leave your brother's family alone.


My wife and I live alone with our set of twins (7 months old), with no maid or relative staying with us. We do domestic work together, and I even go to the market alone. Would you have been angry and concluded that my wife is using me if you were my brother?

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Anonymous

3 days ago

Calling a man to buy bread on his way home is not the same as giving a tray of beans to pick in front of his friends to pick. Get the debate right,


When we are alone, anything goes, but when 3rd parties or guests are around, I don't expect my woman to tell me to go n check beans on the fire. This is Naija, and Americans are living the only lifestyle they know. Our story is different.

Anonymous

3 days ago

Ah. So what if the guy carries the tray of beans to pick in front of his friends? Or he decides to help his wife cut vegetables while she is cooking for his friends. There's nothing wrong with that one because she's not "sending him on an errand," abi?


Even in this same Naija, I've seen very unconventional happy marriages. What is killing us in this country is thinking the same rule works for everyone.


I've seen a home where a woman is a breadwinner, and she's humble, and you'd never know. I've seen a home where the man goes to the market cause his wife hates it.


I've seen a home where the man washes and irons his clothes and his wife's cause she hates laundry.


I've seen a marriage where the mother cannot cook. The father does the cooking while the mother goes to the market. These people are now grandparents. This same "respect" wey una dey drag, e dey some marriage wey scatter last last.


If I marry a man wey be my friend, why I no go fit send am, why e no go fit send me, e get wetin I no go fit do for am, e get wetin e no spos fit do for me?


Ten years from now, many of them go dey their second or third marriage. No be a dictatorship, na partnership.

Anonymous

3 days ago

FamilyLast activity 2 days ago

If I were you, I would talk. It doesn’t matter whether my brother is ok with it, but I will register my opinion instantly, and she must tell me why she had to do that. If it’s reasonable enough, I’ll let it slide… and I doubt if any of my brothers’ wives can do this in my presence. I’m not bragging.


I get a lousy mouth, and I don’t think any of them will try to tackle me, I rarely visit anyone, but if I see them once, I respect them too much ( dem fit Dey fake am, I no care ).


All these signs are always there, but your brother is blinded by love.

Most of these girls possess that character, na u no go gree,

I remember the day I went out with my girl to a supermarket, we had just started dating, we bought stuff, and I paid, pressed my phone, and she wanted to hand over one of the bags to me to hold. I told her to put it on my head. Everyone was laughing, and she felt embarrassed. I was praying she would bring up the matter again when we reached the house, wetin she Fõr hear that day. If you not fit carry am drop am for the ground! When no be something wey heavy.. even if it’s heavy, na me supposed to tell you to bring am no be you go tell me.. Rubbish!

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Anonymous

3 days ago

I wish I were female in this instance and your sister-in-law. Will you talk?

I will put strong pepper in your mouth, and you will explain what you are doing in my house, let alone ask me to explain myself to you. I am not married to you. I am married to your brother. Because I tolerated your presence in my house, you dared to ask me questions about my family affair.


Most of you need to have your heads examined. Really!


You don't understand the concept of boundaries and privacy. She owes you, nada! And your brother also owes you no explanation concerning his relationship with his wife.


It seems most people in that Nigeria are mad in one form or the other. You wake up, dust your seat pants, go to someone else's home and start questioning her on how she relates with her husband. Come and try it here and see where you will spend the night.


Men like you will subject a widow to all sorts of indignities on the death of her husband instead of having a fellow feeling for her and comforting her on the loss of her closest companion. Mtchew!

FamilyLast activity 3 days ago

OP, you can't just use your idea of what is ideal to judge other people's happiness. You don't know the couple's love language. You don't know what tickles the woman's fancy or turns the man on. You don't know the specific situation that led to the man being the person to go down that particular street to that typical shop at that exact time. All you saw was that your brother was sent on an errand. Unfortunately for you, you can't just walk in there and tell them how they should be married. It's not your marriage; if you're unhappy with what you see, leave their house for them. Kick her out when you get married, and your wife asks you to help with such things. Your brother did not complain to you.


You are upset that he went out to check something for his wife. The fact that this wife might be the one doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., all became irrelevant because the man went out to see if a shop is open. You're probably living in the past, but let your wife bear the consequences. Don't use your toxic masculinity to spoil another man's home.

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As much as I wanted to agree with you, her attitude is inexcusable.. she was wrong.. her husband can do chores around the house, but that kind of errand is just downgrading him to junk status in the presence of his siblings. I don't care about their financial situation..


She will not die if she does, honey. Can I speak with you privately kind of thing..I believe that OP did not just drop inside their household unannounced... She can permanently hide that she was wearing the more oversized trouser instead of doing it in front of his siblings..


As far as I am concerned, that errand was not an emergency... She can always do that herself since the husband is with his siblings, or she can wait for them to go.. Opening her mouth and even saying why the man must get up while he was with his siblings was just a no-no...I believe the husband would never send her for an errand if she were with her siblings.

FamilyLast activity 2 days ago

Potential home wrecker. Who sent you? What is your business?

Find your wife and marry and live with her as you both please.


Leave your brother and his wife to carry on as best suits them.


"It pained you so much." Something that is none of your business and has nothing to do with you pained you so much. Amebo. To think that you are a man. Men usually mind their business and go about their hustle for their daily bread. Imagine if you were a woman. You would have set your father's family on fire before targeting your brother's family.


Go and hustle and ask God to bless your hustle. Leave your brother and his family alone. If and when your brother feels something is wrong with his wife's behavior, let him take care of it himself.


Don't go visiting that couple again and keep your big mouth shut, and don't go telling tales to other members of your family.


Amebo. What do they call a full-grown man who won't mind his business?

FamilyLast activity 3 days ago

Most of you've got a poor/absurd concept of respect. Even if your brother is the sole breadwinner in their union, I don't see how a wife sending her husband on a just errand (a wife expecting/reminding her husband to be diligent) amounts to disrespect to him.


Like in this scenario, telling him to go and check whether the woman selling provisions is back showed that there was a pre-existing arrangement between the husband and the provisions seller. So, I wonder how she erred by reminding her husband to strive to bring the agreement to fruition. And don't tell me that you had expected her not to send such a request to her husband because of your presence, citing that you're a brother-in-law and obviously weren't having formal deliberation with him.


Eschew needless pride.

Anonymous

3 days ago

FamilyLast activity 3 days ago

Your Brother he haff chop a vegetable or EFO RIRO.


On a serious note, it is purely abnormal. I am contributing to this topic because an older woman living in my compound upstairs warned me to stop my wife from relating with a particular neighbor. Her reason was for a similar thing like this. Mama is nearly 90yrs.


This woman does nothing at home. The man takes the children to school and goes to pick them up. This madam is friends with all the shop owners in the vicinity. I have seen her taking their gas cooker to assist other women in cooking meals.


Just when I returned to pick up an item at home about 40 mins ago, her husband arrived with the children from school. Pepper, ewedu, tomatoes, and fufu were some things I saw in his hands. He drives for a pure water company.


Guess what? Madam was in somebody's shop gossiping again. When she saw the truck, she came to say a very weak welcome to him. And she was questioning the man over certain things I didn't even bother to listen to.


I believe what mama upstairs told me. Your Brother is acting under some influence.


Whoever likes can insult me among the ladies here. But I believe the menfolks will understand and watch.


My Brother's Wife Sends Him On Errands. Is This Normal Or Right?


FamilyLast activity 3 days ago

Your brother be like person wey go dey tie wrapper for chest.

Tell am to hustle, or she go troway him television with him one day.


But serious matter - Stay out of their business. If your brother ever complains that his wife maltreats him and he's not happy, you can advise him.


If not, stay out of married people's business.


If she's not disrespectful to the man, stay out of their business.


They go soon settle their issue turn am for your head.


FamilyLast activity 3 days ago

Na waa!

First, find out from whose pocket the dowry and money for their marriage came.

Also, find out who bought the chair you sat on while doing your observation.

Most women are like that. They are amplifying every little stake!


FamilyLast activity 3 days ago

They don collect trousers from your elder brother and give him a wrapper.  


This is a problem for the majority of men of this era. Forming woke " westernization ". Wetin even concerns me.


Your brother's wife disrespected her husband by sending him on such an errand in your presence. She belittled her husband.

Couples should learn to treat each other respectfully, especially in front of others. Show others how to respect your spouse.


As much as it hurts you to see that, try to stay out of it. It is their business. Also, that should not stop you from respecting your elder brother.

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