I Am Married With Three Kids 2 Years And 3 Months Old Triplets. But I Am Tired Of My Wife

10 months ago4225 views

I am married with three kids 2 years and 3 months triplets, my salary is 55k. I used to give my wife 20k, mother 10k, 5k for rainy days and 20k for myself transportation and other expenses outside my house. My wife complained that the money was not enough I added 5k making it 25k monthly but she still demanding for more money and she has threatened to leave if I don't give her more. I had no money to give her, my own mother was homeless staying in church and I couldn't stop giving her that 10k because she needed it. My wife used to fight me every single day and my uncle asked us to leave the family house as we were disturbing their peace and I was ready to let her go and I will be sending 25k for our triplets upkeep every month but for the sake of our kids we have settled down with 30k monthly leaving me with 15k. So far, we have moved out of the family house, we are staying in a parlour and room house a brother from Canada gave us the place it is not permanent but it is better and we are very very grateful. Like I said earlier my mother was staying in church, now we have a one bedroom house I have discussed with my wife for my mum to come and live with us and I will stop the 10k I was giving her and I will add it to her money making it 40k monthly, she has agreed. Now that my mother is here with us, she started again with the 40k is not enough to feed all of us, note I don't eat breakfast, I eat lunch at work and in the evening I eat at home. She is only giving my mother food in the evening while she and my kids eat 3 Square meal a day. I asked her why she is treating my mother so badly she said the economy is hard if she doesn't have she won't kill herself. I am sick and tired and if I have sorted things it was for the sake of our kids and now I am starting to regret. I am thinking from this month when I get my salary I will give her 30k and give my mother 10k to be cooking her own foods. Is my decision good?

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Replies(9)

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

Firstly To single ones out there,

Pls let’s embrace condom o or do pull out strategies. If you’re going to get married you need to be financially buoyant seriously .. and also make sure your wife works. This is 2022 let's be woked and support each other. Forget say man must be bread winners, not all men are wired to be bread winners. In fact to be man dey tire some men that's why them just jeje go be transgender women.


And to you

Honestly I feel like crying reading your story. I can imagine the kind of mental stress you and your wife and mom going through.


Honestly 100 naira condom would have saved you of this mess.. also never marry a woman out of pressure. That you impregnate a woman doesn’t mean u should marry her.. don’t mind people casting stones on you , anyone can find himself in a mess..


Solution is too set up a business for your mom,even if it’s selling little little things, that way you will be able to save off the 10k u give her monthly ..


Now let’s be real , I am not always in support of women or whatever they represent but taking care of three kids should be one of the hardest job on earth ..


We are talking only of one kid here, now imagine 3, Breast feeding and All round care for kids no be small thing my brother, your wife can only work from home , if she starts a teaching job, believe me she’ll be less productive..


It’s either u beg your mom to take care of the kids ( you need to be compensating your mom time to time for this ) while your wife work or you set up a business for your mom and u increase the home allowance..


Also try some side hustle to increase your income (I know you’re trying your best ).

Pls always use condom or do family planning before u have sex with your wife.


At this stage , divorcing her will affect the kids and if that happens, all your effort will be in vain. Apart from that you can’t take custody of the kids and if you are to be paying child support, your whole salary won’t be enough .. tbh you and your wife really fumbled !


So the wife is no longer breast feeding?


Omo she should find something doing To augment your income o. She can start small. Do not pressure her. Talk to her happily. Life no easy. But find happiness in everything you do..

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

Why is nobody asking you why your wife isn't working?

Your wife disgust me. She is lazy and a parasite. Kick her out of the house to support you as a provider. She is just at home lazying around, gossiping, getting fat while you work and submit 90% of your salary. Monkey dey chop baboon dey work.

My parent my mama dey work, my papa dey work. Children no lack anything. Papa pay school fees for all his children, he pays all the bills and pay for my mum monthly for food. She support him by adding her own. And take care of any unforeseen expenses that comes by.

Don't be a simp

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

How can you have sex without condom on a 55k salary in this current economic climate?


And your wife has no job to augment your income?


It's always critical to look at your economic situation before making life-altering decisions.


You should blame yourself and rightly so too.


I have no advice to give you. When you were lashing her without condom, you didn't tell us. Now that the shít has hit the fan, you're looking for somebody to tell you to chase your wife away.


Ogbeni carry your cross.


On a serious note!

I understand what you are passing through. I will advice you mandate your wife to get a job. Your wife is not considerate at all. Please, take care of your mum, give her 10k like you are planning. If your mum can still work, please let her get a job even if it is cleaner job. Sincerely, your income cannot sustain you all. Either your wife works or your mum works.


Have a family meeting and discuss this issue o. Feeding is not easy now o.

Your kids will start school soon, how will you cope?

Treat this issue as urgent.

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

Haaaaaaaaa shocked I know how frustrated your wife would be while breastfeeding those 3 kids at once sad sad sir, it's not easy, she will be feeling hungry at anytime, feeding the triplets alone excluding you, your wife and mother, 50k can't be enough sir. Things are too costly in the market. You and your mother need to be very patience with her please. I pray that God send helpers to you and your family. You might apply for better jobs with better pay if you see. Please don't be too harsh to your wife and kids. It's because of this Buhari regime, it will soon be over. Keep praying and have faith that things will be alright one day.



That is why I hate married people bringing out their dirties outside especially on the internet, those irresponsible married men who can't give their wives and children #20k per month would come out here to type rubbish leading you astray. Please ignore all those people saying too harsh words at you. Cry unto God your helper for better job to take good care of yourself and your family, don't let their words turn to depression to your life.

Anonymous

10 months ago

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

but you made a very big mistake giving money to your wife.

next time just ask her to list out the food items she wants to buy.


dont give her the money herself.


just collect the list and go and buy it by yourself in the market.


and its even better and safer if you dont tell her how much you earn.


if she complains about money all the time.


just place a cap on top of the sitting room s television and drop may be one thousand or two thousand there, if she asks for money for maggi or matches just tell her to go and check the television top.


when she spends the money in the cap finish and she comes to tell you, tell her thats all thr money you have with you SHIKENA!


LIVING WITH WOMEN REQUIRES A LOT OF WISDOM!

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

With the current situation in Nigeria, even with management,  ₦50k can't be enough for all of you including your mom. Your wife might be so fed up with the triplets consumption, a woman who will take good care of triplets should be very well fed, it's not a easy task at all. Endure with her, let your mother endure too, pray for more income, there will no more fight again.

Anonymous

10 months ago

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

Men una mumu sha


When we keep telling you People not to get married, you'll call us broke,immature frustrated and all other sorts of nonsense.


You got married to Parasite who's Sucking you dry, draining the very life force you have. If you don't cut off that leech,she will drain you till you become a shell of your former self.


But seriously guys, lets reason it this way. The money he has been giving to his wife all these while,if he didn't get married and have children now,he would probably have used it to open a business,have investments or Get a new house or something like that. Now a woman has tied him down and It's now stopping him from progressing.


All he cares about are his wife and his children,they are all Liabilities to him. This is why men are advised to have a good job and a nice comfortable apartment first before getting married. You know why? It is because you will most likely get married to A Parasite who will Make you stagnant,it would be almost impossible for you to get past this financial struggle except you get a better job with better pay.


Men! Run away from a marriage that will stop you from Achieving greatness. Having children is not an achievement,it is normally biological for one to procreate,so there is no big deal about it. Having a wife and children when you are not financially stable,will only drag you down and make you stagnant!


And also, DON'T EVER GET MARRIED TO A BROKE LAZY WOMAN! They are Parasites whose only Objective is to latch on to you, and suck out your energy,time,resources and peace of mind.

Anonymous

10 months ago

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

Try birth control next time so you and wife can stop having kids or use condoms or use the pullout methods.


my advice


The money is not enough- Do not divorce and instead look for better work with better pay. Your wife can look for an income but it is not easy for woman to work fulltime and she is taking care of 2 or 3 kids. For those who are calling your wife a parasite, try taking care of 4 kids and working full time , then u go know that life beginning for a woman when a woman becomes a mother. Since you have triplets, [b]please I beg you please do not have any kids until you are financially stable and your wife is mentally and physically ready , if you have more kids then you are on your own.


Honestly the money isn't enough... She's even trying feeding triplets with that amount! I'll suggest you beg her to endure with you for 8months. Then try and be keeping 5k as savings then open a very small business for her. Or use the 10k for your mom and open a very small business for your mother. Your mother can be selling groundnuts or palm oil or garri if you use that 10k to open the business for her. Then open another small business for your wife. After few months, this load will reduce on you.

MarriageLast activity 10 months ago

How old is your mother? Why can't your mother work? Is she suffering from one ailment?


Look, the only way is for your mother to get a job or start a trade to sustain herself at least for little. The alternative is for her to take care of your triplets so you and your wife can fully concentrate on your job/business.


Don't ever suggest to your wife to get a job at this stage without anyone to help with the kids. Only a ma.d man will tell a young mother of triplets to get a job. Attending to those toddlers daily is harder than driving a truck from Lagos to Kano every day. So kill that idea and don't ever bring it up.

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