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Anonymous

one month ago

MarriageLast activity one month ago

On a serious note, it may be a geography and cultural thing. I hope you are okay with my perspective as an inside outsider?... The majority of my Nigerian friends have married Nigerians, BUT there is a common theme that I've noticed.

I find that Nigerian men tend to travel home to marry a girl, which is usually influenced by their parents and the fact they have been unsuccessful in dating here for whatever reason. There is also an attitude of Let's date and have my fun. When I'm ready to get serious, I will go home and marry someone from where I'm from, whether it is arranged or organic, i.e., they met someone (or a couple of someones, you know the ones 😄😭) while visiting back home and continue to nurture that to see if it can go anywhere while playing around here.

The Nigerian women I know that marry Nigerians tend to have either come to the UK already married, engaged, or in a relationship.

A few of my married Nigerian friends have met their person abroad. It is not something I had thought about deeply until this post, but now that I think about it, it is a thing.

Also, I find a lot of the mixed marriages and relationships that break down always always always always break down because of cultural clashes. I feel like when a Nigerian man dates outside his color/culture, the ones that go home to marry have done so because they've become fatigued by the cultural differences they experienced outside their race/culture. The mixed marriages that last the longest always tend to be with a Nigerian female; I feel the patriarchy influences that for a more peaceful outcome.

I'm the only white wife I know who has lived in or even visited Nigeria, which has helped me understand my husband and his views. Don't get me wrong, I still make mistakes or clash on some cultural things, but it has helped us.

Sometimes Nigerians who abroad think they will try to date outside their culture and try something new but then realize it's different from what they are compatible with. So they go home for a speedier result than risk wasting more time trying to find their person.

None of this is based on actual evidence but more on the patterns I've noticed and experienced.

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I agree. Most people in the diaspora have already come to Nigeria to become married if they are middle-aged. They are more open to dating anyone if they are younger and have grown up there.

This is because of demographics and cultural behavior. Demographics in the sense that they are a minority there, so you take what you see around you. Cultural behavior means they are not picky/selective about ethnicity as much as other ethnic groups like white people, south Asian people, and middle east people.

The cultural clash often happens, primarily when they strongly identify as Nigerian. There's less cultural clash if they adapt to their country's culture.

Either way, Nigerian in the diaspora date each other if there's a significant community wherever they are based. If there is not, then they date each other less.

I agree. As the younger generations of British Nigerians grow up, you will see more successful mixed marriages. The Nigerian kids understand our culture and ideology. So it's not so shocking/jarring to what they know, and the non-nigerian kids are more exposed to Nigerians in a positive way.

The harmful stereotypes about Nigerians are slowly being eradicated in part to the success of Afrobeat and how Nigeria is portrayed in the media. It is still there, but the tacky 419 stereotype is losing its power, and people tend to speak more positively about Nigerians in general.

That 90-day fiance tried to drag us back with those scallywags Angela/Michael and Souja boy and his many women, but it's not done too much damage to the progress being made, thankfully.

Anonymous

one month ago

I love this. Yes, I also noticed the same pattern hence my question. Somehow it seems to me that we Nigerians (yes, I am a Nigerian-American😆) can become so set in our ways that we get lazy or maybe too proud to give another culture a chance; however, I know many would disagree with me on this. When you read stories of what men and women who went back "home" went through when they finally got their respective spouses to the diaspora, you wonder why they couldn't settle for someone already in the system. Thanks for clarifying and answering some of the questions on my mind. I appreciate you.

No lies told here. So accurate that I wouldn't have guessed you were white till you mentioned it

Nigerians AbroadLast activity 2 months ago

Studyportals data shows that in 2020, Nigerian students picked Canada, Germany, the UK, the US, and Norway as their top five study-abroad destinations. Most Nigerians will choose Norway if they want affordable study abroad. No matter what, day and night, the US will always be the top 1 for anyone from Nigeria looking to study overseas.

4 best countries in the world for Nigerian students

NigeriaLast activity 4 months ago

Yes, practice usual or slightly heightened caution, depending on the region. And do not go pretty close to the north for now, not necessarily because you're a woman but because it's generally dangerous for everyone. You should bring a giant sun hat and shades. If you want to go out at nighttime, I'd recommend sticking to Lagos or Abuja, as they're the most nighttime-friendly cities/states. If you are Igbo, I will recommend Owerri. Been there, and they have a solid social nightlife scene. I don't know about the other states; anyone can correct me.

Since you said "one day," I don't need to point out that it's not a good idea to come anytime between now and April (see: elections)

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Anonymous

4 months ago

Oh, ok, good to know! I was afraid the first answer would be no since the west paints a picture of Africa, in general, being poor and unsafe (Unless it's Egypt or maybe South Africa? 🙄) but then makes it seem only attractive when tribes are being documented for National Geographic or its wildlife.

But then, ever since I became interested in my heritage, and one day, someone told me not to believe everything the media tells me, I have a different outlook on Africa and that it's not all unsafe and poor.

Also, I hope to visit the regions where The Yoruba are since that's part of my heritage.

Yea, it's a common stereotype that Africa is poor and unsafe, there are poor and hazardous regions, but that's not ALL there is, and that's the mistake people make

EXACTLY, it's frustrating, but it's good to ask questions. Well, you're lucky because Lagos is solidly in the Yoruba region. They even opened a new Yoruba history museum/cultural center just last week (maybe coincidentally for you). Anyway, all the other Yoruba states are in the South and easily accessible from Lagos, so you shouldn't have a problem. I'm not Yoruba, and I don't know much about their landmarks, but I'd recommend you take time to visit Badagry, the Slave Museum, and the Point of no return (where enslaved people were boarded onto the ships).

Unfortunately, since you're mainly interested in Yoruba culture, you won't necessarily have a reason to visit Abuja or the eastern part of Nigeria. Maybe even Calabar. I am sure you will love it there, too, if you are curious about where the Caribbean culture originated from.

We look forward to having you!

You can also consider Portharcourt city a great place to be at too

NigeriaLast activity 7 months ago

The so-called Ministry Of Foreign Affairs is not even ashamed of dishing out this information, despite its need and necessity.


What's making your young lad move to Northern Cyprus when Nigeria is better than NP? They lost faith in Nigeria.


Why? Nothing is working in Nigeria.


Can this County still get better? Do I think so?

NigeriaLast activity 8 months ago

The problem with the Nigerian government is that they know how to lie against their citizens. If not because the Nigerian government doesn't have shame, is Ethiopia na Country? Dead among the living Country. E no go better for shameless Nigeria government.


E just be like make Zimbabwe say them no wan give Naija people visa again. E nogo better for Lord Lugard

NigeriaLast activity 8 months ago

Its lacks of human development index, or self-development i guess, in summary.


It is how some children grow up to value themselves compared to others. They see value in their parents' wealth, not handwork, training, or skills. They develop the idea that they are better than others or have a comparative advantage in terms of their families' economic positions or environmental setup.


So as an adult, sometimes this way of understanding oneself is expressed. Also, When you know someone abroad footing bills of their family at home, you will see why it's pride. Nigeria is challenging and that's why many who have someone abroad who is supportive should be their pride.

NigeriaLast activity 9 months ago

Atleast the salary is coming as at when due..here it's not coming at all. Even police men protested today. Its better that it's coming and taking care of your bills...than it's not coming at all and you're spending transport to goto work every day. Yet, some evil people will owe you for 18 months! 


O boy cool down. SOME.MUMU WILL STILL NOT HEAR WORD 


Singapore is now richer than her colonial master England, Singapore attained independence few years after Nigeria. Nigeria no more excuse to fail.....we can be better than the colonial master

Anonymous

10 months ago

VideoLast activity 10 months ago

I agree. In Canada, Nigerians do not operate, but the LATAMs corporate, the Indians corporate, and the Chinese corporate, only Nigerians act like they are trying to outshine themselves. No cooperation among Nigerians; they keep hiding opportunities to themselves alone. I spoke about this to someone a few weeks ago. God will deliver us. We want to outshine ourselves and everybody. Lol

Anonymous

11 months ago

AdviceLast activity 11 months ago

Why Do Our African Brothers That Moved Abroad Will Never Encourage Or Advice Someone Willing To Move Too.

Because Africans and in particular Nigerians are greedy, wicked, and stingy and filled with jealousy. The heart of Nigerians are desperately wicked to their fellow Africans that's why you hear them saying "don't come to America or Canada because it's snowy, it's cold" and all manner of gibberish but they themselves will never switch places with you if you present them with that choice or help others to migrate from the gutter to a civilized society. Rubbish.


It's not easy. As blacks we don't like to help each other grow. That is the way God designed us. We allow people to hustle like for real.


If they help you move who will welcome them when they are back home. Such is our mentality here in country. We like to enslave each other.

Many years ago a friend told me there is nothing in Brazil. He will be back next month ,keep telling me next month. I made my way there didn't Inform him.


We met in a mall where I work as a security guard. The guy nearly run mad seeing me.


I thank God

MarriageLast activity one year ago

This one is serious oh


I don't know how this one works but I would have suggested you and your go and marry again in a court and collect another marriage certificate to present, don't know if that is possible though, I've never been married....

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