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Because they(especially the men) realize they have traded their lives for nothing while their burden and responsibilities multiply exponentially.
Love is never enough to keep a marriage. To keep a marriage requires to not have any expectations of your self, of your spouse of life. You are required to be a donkey that has no mind of its own just do as you have been trained to.
But of course we are in an era of self realization of self awareness and almost every one has a mind of their own so it competes against what’s expected of you in marriage. For most marriages that seem to be standing the test of time, the foundation is a limitlessly subdued dreams and aspirations a well kept secret of frustration and resentment.
A case of suffering and smiling. (I’m not saying there aren’t really good marriages but, while we know the needle is in the middle of the haystack, finding it is difficult). Unfortunately, most people are afraid to talk about their frustration with marriage after all their neighbor, friend, brother etc who married before then are still sticking it out. But like one quote I read recently said ‘everyone seems to be doing fine until you have a heart to heart talk with them’.
16 days ago
All these guys here saying "things"
These are not our parents days o, before you are stabbed in your sleep
Second wife has to be an agreement between the first and the husband because you can't just bring a woman in your house for years and then want to bring in a second wife. If you are a Muslim, any woman marrying you will already know so shouldn't have a problem but even among Muslims, there are some women who won't also share and they marry the ones that don't want more than one wife too.
As for side-chics side-gbola also dey. Some one said no gbola is meant for one puna... I laugh in Spanish... What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.
Lastly it's easy to find out if a man is cheating but if a woman is cheating it will take the grace of God to ever find out so make Una know wetin Una dey do.
16 days ago
No, they don't lose interest, they get comfortable and accommodating such that if they don't spice things up once in a while, they will feel bored.
This is for true couples.
I am of the school of thought that when a woman is too obedient, simple and always running up and down to satisfy the hubby, he will drift away to side chicken.
Give him trouble once in a while, not fighting and verbal abuse please. Cook delicacies, rape him, pray together (very important), wine together (you will know what is hidden).
Anyways, a he-goat will remain one but will respect you not to bring his chicken close to where you can smell it.
Well, life happens.
But you need to workout a way to snap out of it.
Perhaps take a vacation, rekindle the interests you had before marriage, pray about it......try and leave stress free lives.
Just find a way to make your marriage work, except you have a plan B.
Both side chick and second wife are damaging to women, men and their children.
Goes without saying.
Monogamy has its problems, but at the end of the day, when one is growing up, one knows that most of the time, except for justifiable excuses (travelling, sickness, or working late) ....yer father is coming home to see you and siblings every night after work.
Ye can call me a simp, hypocrite, etc...but monogamy for life for me. I no get stress or money to keep side chick or wife no2.
16 days ago
E be things. To enjoy this life should be our top priority.
Depends on the man , if he is wealthy women will tolerate themselves provided they dont stay in the same vicinity.
Problem starts when the man insists that they stay in 1 house, which for me means the man is poor.
Polygamy is for the rich, nothing wrong with spreading your gene pool, its a survival instinct.
Because when the infatuation which they mistook as love fades, there's nothing else to hold onto.
People don't understand that love has very little to do with feelings, and whatever you feel for a person initially will fade away.. love is an act, a commitment, and only the couple who see it that way will have a fulfilling and enduring marriage
It all depends on your perspective...
If you were the child of a side chick or a legitimate wife which would you prefer.
If you were the newcomer would you prefer to be a side chick or a legitimate wife.
By the way, there is nothing like second, third etc wife. Wife is wife..
If you became a widow or divorced (normal life things) would you hope to get remarried or become a sidechick.
The only difference is the legitimacy of the union and the kids. So everyone concerned gains respectability.
"oga go for DNA test oooo. The pikin resemble you, is not a guarantee say na your pikin"
Second wife na pain pass. Do you know why? The second wife dey as legal as the first wife. The second wife get same benefit as the first wife. Some men dey even carry the second wife to come stay same house with the first wife. Second wife get inheritance. Second wife no dey hide, she can so anything because she's legal.
But you see sidechicks, dem dey fear some wives. Dem no fit call the man anyhow because he may be with the wife. A wife can beat up the sidechick but no fit beat second wife because both of them get equal right.
God abeg, no ever give us reasons to marry more than one woman for this life. Dear men, we know say only 3% of ladies for this 9ja na get the tendency to be a good wife, so my advise to una be say make una find from those 3% and marry.
Polygamy na demonic thing ooooo, I know wetin I dey talk. The father is "OUR FATHER" while the mother is "MY MOTHER". I rather be a single guy forever, than to marry more than one woman. Hence, my reason for abstaining from our 9ja babes because dem go always give you reasons to marry multiple women.
I don talk am before and I go talk am again, "oga go for DNA test oooo. The pikin resemble you, is not a guarantee say na your pikin"
A wise man once told me that for marriage to work, you have to fall in love with the same person all over again and as many times as possible.
To stay married, we must continue to find ways to make our partner happy and continue to find ways to make them fall in love all over again.
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